Tired of having to spam blogs, write nasty comments on forums and get repetitive stress injuries just to ruin someone you don’t like?
What if you could run a smear campaign against your competitors, slandering them in front of millions of people per hour?
Well, good news, kids! Now, thanks to Google, you can do it in seconds!
Yep, it’s Google real-time search. If you want to chop up someone’s reputation, Google’s new ‘cutting edge’ (hah, get it!) technology will slice, dice, frappe and otherwise grind it into pulp.
</End cheesy announcer voice>
I wish I was exaggerating. But Google real time search will be the biggest online reputation management (ORM) nightmare of 2010. They make it so damned easy.
I’m going to show you how it works. This isn’t earth shattering. All the bad people out there have figured it out. But you need to know so you can defend yourself (somehow):
1. Find a trend
First, go to http://www.google.com/trends
Pick a top-10 trending topic. Those topics are sure to have real-time search results. You can double-check. Just go to Google and search for the trending phrase. Look for the ‘latest results for…’ and your keyword. If it’s there, you have a winner:
OK. Now you have the territory staked out. Time to do some damage.
2. Commence abuse
Now it’s time to have some fun. Go to Twitter (if you don’t have a Twitter account, you’ll need to set one up). Type in the message of your choice:
3. Watch the results
Go back to Google and watch the real time results. In a short time, you’ll see your message show up:
That’s it. Do this consistently for a little while and you can create an online reputation management disaster.
You do. No one gives a flying crap about me, so I can beat myself up in social media all I want. You’re different. If you:
- Sell a product;
- Offer a service;
- Look for a job;
- Are a public servant;
- Or otherwise matter in the universe…
…I guarantee folks search your name and check on you before they call. And it only takes one negative listing in the search results to drive away customers. I’ve seen it time and again. If you and a competitor appear identical to a consumer, but you have one negative comment and they don’t, you’ll lose every time.
What to do
Remember that big kid that used to slap you silly at the bus stop? Bet your dad said something helpful like “ignore him and he’ll go away”. Didn’t work for me either. You can’t stop assholes from slandering you via real time search. You can make sure they do little or no damage:
- Take ownership of your brand name on sites like Twitter and Facebook.
- Monitor what people are saying about you. Get a report at least once a day (hourly is better).
- Make checking that report part of your normal routine.
Last, and possibly most important: Network with others online. The bigger your network, the more people you have to help you stand up to the bully.
I wish I knew…
…What the brainiacs at Google were thinking when they came up with their real time search model. Hopefully, they’ll fix the algorithm and make it harder to abuse the system. For now, though, your best bet is to think like a bully, keep an eye on the conversations that are going on out there, and know when someone’s abusing you.
Ian Lurie is the CEO of Portent Interactive, and writes the internet marketing blog Conversation Marketing. He’s been an internet marketer since 1995. Recent calculations show he’s had over 30,000 hours experience in the field. Which may explain his tendency to rant like a lunatic. He’s co-author of the Web Marketing All-In-One Desk Reference for Dummies, and author of the book Conversation Marketing. When permitted he rants and raves about internet marketing at various conferences, and attempts to use his powers of sarcasm for good.